http://francescapolini.com/why-the-government-should-set-up-a-national-adoption-authority/ Turning good intentions into action Tue, 04 Feb 2014 11:29:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://francescapolini.com/why-the-government-should-set-up-a-national-adoption-authority/#comment-367 Laura Maynard Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:08:43 +0000 http://francescapolini.com/?p=1447#comment-367 I applaud you Francesca and offer my wholehearted support.I would like to tell you of another side to all of this and our story.
My daughter found herself pregnant under terrible circumstances in 2009. She couldn’t contemplate an abortion, instead opting to give her child life – and adoption. However we were to find the system to be, quite frankly, utterly abominable. She was not taken seriously, they kept losing her notes, they wanted to pressure her into keeping her baby. Then we were told that as the child’s natural is a quarter arabic and a quarter cuban it would be very difficult if not impossible to place him. He may spend a prolonged period in the care system, if not his entire childhood.
We took matters into our own hands. We found a couple in Canada who were looking to add to their family – they already had one adopted son. We fled England, and lived for six weeks by a river in Canada near them. She gave birth in that little house, looked after by local midwives, we kept him for four days while she gave him her colostrum and spent precious time with him. Then she relinquished.
The support and care with the system over there is absolutely unbelievable.Open private adoption has been the norm for thirty years, running alongside the protection of the state system.
We enjoy an ongoing open relationship with our little ones family. They spent two weeks with us this year and we got to know him. Another visit will happen in January. Our little one is now 17 months, safe, cared for and happy. There will be no unanswered questions for him as he grows up. It has taken everything we have to achieve. If private adoption was available in this country it would have been so straightforward.
The system over there was run by consummate professionals. Everything was slick and caring. As the birthmother she was counselled and looked after every step of the way. When we came home she was looked after by a counsellor here (paid for by the family – a legal requirement) as she started to pick up the pieces of her life. It is a heartbreaking and devastating and lifechanging thing to go through, but knowing him and how he is, and how right the decision was for him helps enormously.
I have written about it all.
If only the system was in place here. For everyone – the adopters, the birthmothers, and especially the children. With this system they are surrounded by love.

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